FAMILY EDUCATION MODEL AND DIVORCE PREVENTION ON SASAK COMMUNITY IN INDONESIA

Abstrak. Penelitian ini bertujuan untuk menemukan dan memetakan model pendidikan keluarga sebagai upaya mencegah perceraian pada masyarakat Suku Sasak. Pendekatan yang digunakan adalah penelitian kualitatif dengan metode studi kasus. Hasil penelitian menemukan bahwa model program pendidikan keluarga pada masyarakat dilakukan dengan tahapan sebagai berikut; (1) Orientasi Program Pendidikan, meliputi; menyiapkan lembaga masyarakat, Orientasi Nara Sumber, Orientasi Obyek Sasaran. (2). Penetapan Program Pendidikan keluarga. Ada 3 tiga program yang dipilih masyarakat sebagai program pendidikan yang dapat mencegah terjadinya perceraian : a) Program Pendidikan Gender dan Seksualitas. Program ini penting untuk dilaksanakan karena banyak perceraian terjadi disebabkan adanya bias gender laki-laki dan perempuan. b) Program Pendidikan Hukum Keluarga. Program ini dilaksanakan karena banyak perceraian dilakukan secara informal tidak melalui institusi formal (negara). c) Program Pendidikan Konseling Pra-nikah. Program ini dianggap penting karena dapat menjadi alternatif yang baik untuk memantapkan hati, dan mental dalam menghadapi masalah yang ada di dalam rumah tangga. Hal lain yang diperoleh adalah melatih keterbukaan di antara pasangan, menyelaraskan perbedaan di antara pasangan, dan mengantisipasi konflik. (3) Pelaksanaan Program. Untuk merealisasikan program pendidikan keluarga guna mencegah terjadinya perceraian dilaksanakan dengan pola pendidikan dan latihan keterampilan berkeluarga, workshop, dan klinik konsultasi pernikahan.


1.Introduction
The Sasak people who inhabit the island of Lombok with an area of 4,700 km per square, with its potential fertility, it must be recognized that it is not able to support the needs of the population. The population of 2.9 million based on calculations already exceeds 750,000. The average level of rice field ownership for one family must be able to live on 0.34 ha or 3,400 square meters of paddy fields (BPS NTB, 2006). This indication shows the imbalance between the carrying capacity of nature and the carrying capacity of human resources, so that it will be able to cause various social problems in population such as; migration, economy, education, health, poverty and divorce.
The thing that impresses outsider group about the Sasak community is the family institution. It might be different from other ethnic groups in Indonesia. There are no crying children left by their parents or children who are cared for by the orphans in Community: volume 6, nomor 1, April 2020 p-ISSN: 2477-5746 e-ISSN: 2502-0544 the corner of the slums far from adequate facilities because the father/mother is not there, except for some extraordinary cases because his mother or father passed away.
Data processed from the Religious Courts Offices in districts / cities on the island of Lombok from 2005 to 2007 are: East Lombok, Central Lombok, East Lombok, North Lombok and Mataram City showing that the divorce process is in the form of a divorce (divorced on the wishes of the wife) got the largest portion of all divorce cases in the religious court offices in the five regencies / cities of which 88.25% committed a divorce. While those who divorce divorce (divorced on the wishes of men) only 11.75%. Furthermore, the place of divorce was identified: 75% at home, headman 14%, and only 2.8% committed divorce in the religious court. This study also found that the factors causing divorce were caused; 33% infidelity, husbands running away from responsibility 18%, domestic violence 18%, third party interactions 16.9% and economic problems 13%. (Syafruddin, 2009).
Noting the divorce issues above, the problem in this paper is the Model of a family education program that can prevent divorce in the Sasak tribe community. For that reason, through the analysis and study conducted in this study, esearchers are trying to find more innovative and creative models of family education programs to use and implement in society.

Literature Review
According to Simmel that the quarrels, disagreements and controversies are organically related to the elements that form the basis of unity within the family, and cannot be separated sociologically in the life of the structure. This indicates that in the family environment, conflict and hostility means the cessation of relationship, resignation or avoiding the occurrence of relationship (interaction), or sometimes within the family they can live as contiguous units, but with mutual disregard for one each other even in a state of quasi-peaceful peace (Coser A & Rosenberg, 1976). Furthermore, in relationships (husband and wife) are not always accompanied by positive feelings, a very intimate relationship often makes the conflict worse, even conflicts that seem trivial to outsiders are dealt with emotionally, their openness to each other at a very deep personality level makes them easy to attack each other related to their personal problems. This pattern can be known in marriage institutions that are emotionally cold and dead, even in a marriage relationship the two parties are confronted not only between themselves, but also with marriage institutions in society. With its power to allow marriages, to cancel, divorce and on behalf of the community as a whole have an interest in recognizing and regulating relations between marriage partners. This legitimate recognition is in line with the habits and moral standards found in the society (Coser, 1964) (Johnson P, 1988). Community: volume 6, nomor 1, April 2020 p-ISSN: 2477-5746 e-ISSN: 2502-0544 A study conducted by Saxson (1985) found that divorce in the United States was identified by several reasons such as: family background, age at first marriage, level of education, income, geographical location, children, and race issues. The high divorce in Java is affected by the average first marriage (Geertz, 1983) (Nakamura, 1990). Most Javanese women know that their husbands can only do divorce, but there are some cases in which the wives persuade their husbands to divorce them if they are tired of their marriage. If the husband refuses, while the wife insists on the divorce, then they take the fight further by leaving their husband. Likewise, a note made by Raffles (Muhammad, 1999), that Javanese women may divorce their husbands if they feel dissatisfied with their marriage, by paying a sum of money which is stipulated by the customs.
About divorce in the Sasak Lombok community, that the main factor causing divorce is where a husband and wife does not understand the purpose and function of a family and there are also differences in power in divorce decision making between husband and wife. This study also found that the tradition of divorce that occurred in the Sasak Tribe Society could have a negative impact on maternal well-being, namely the increased workload resulting from the outpouring of work time both in economic and non-economic activities (Supartiningsih, 1998).
Meanwhile, Bartholomew found that the occurrence of divorce in the Sasak community is affected by the existence of Lokaq marriages, which are marriages arranged based on the wishes of parents (Bartholomew, 1997). According to Bartholomew, matchmaking practices were once popular in the Sasak-Lombok community and recently began to decrease due to the development of communication and transportation slightly. This matchmaking usually happens a lot among Sasak aristocrats, which is intended to maintain status and special privileges and mostly done among members of the same group. Therefore the potential mate will become a legitimate member of the nobility. Suhardono's research (1998) found that legislation is needed as a barrier to divorce, but the findings of this profile are only pending divorces or buyable status. Therefore, he opposes the engineering that exists at the stage of pre-marital decision making, following training on how to deal with interpersonal people who have a crosscultural character, socioeconomic class and education level to prevent the rise in the rate of divorce.
Divorce perspective that has been described, that the social reality of family institutions can not only be viewed from the objective micro aspects such as personal ideology, economics, conjugated family, and equality, and it is also important to note how the role of subjective and objective macro social reality (culture, tradition, values, religion and even the state) become a knife of analysis to explain the phenomena that occur within family institutions. In a structuralist perspective, for example, that individuals are nothing more than dolls that can be treated according to the wishes of Community: volume 6, nomor 1, April 2020 p-ISSN: 2477-5746 e-ISSN: 2502-0544 the existing social structure. The family which at first was only seen as a biological reproductive process and at this time the family institution became a sociological problem that was marked by the complexity of social roles that seemed to bury the culprit. There are economic, psychological, idiological, cultural, educational, religious and political aspects that help build family institutions.

3.Research Methodology
This research is qualitative in which it could indicate community life and kinship relations. The researchers might also create and arrange essential concepts that could not be found in other methods (Staruss & Corbin, 1997) (Bogdan & Taylor, 1993). In order to deeply analyze the divorce issues and the model of family education programs in the Lombok Sasak community, researchers used a survey research method with a group study unit.
In order to confirm the validity of the data, the following procedures were used: 1) triangulation of data sources, carried out by finding data from many respondents, informants, and research subjects. 2) triangulation of data collection methods (observation, interview, documentation study, and focus group discussion (FGD). The Implementation Scenario of this research to find a model of family education program was carried out with the following stages: Field Survey; Identification, Processing, and Data Analysis.
The analysis phase starts with; (1) open coding, which includes breaking down, examining, comparing, conceptualizing, and categorizing data. (2) axial coding stage, the results obtained from open coding are reorganized based on categories to be developed in the direction of propositions. (3) selective coding stage, the researcher classifies the process of examining the core categories in relation to other categories. Core categories are found through comparison of category relationships. Next examine the relationship category and finally produce conclusions that are appointed as general design (Yuwana, 2005).

4.Findings and Discussion
This research has interviewed 525 people as subjects, informants, and research respondents. From the interview, it obtained that the approaching model chosen by the community to prevent divorce that occurred within the Sasak community was through the family education approach. The model of the family education program proposed was: (1). Educational Program on Gender and Sexuality.

Orienting Family Education Program
At this stage, we need to prepare, first, community institutions for the implementation of the program. The institution chosen must have a broad reach and be able to represent the life of the local community. In the context of the Sasak community on the island of Lombok, the most popular institution is Nahdlatul Wathon (NW), such as the group of Muslimat Nadhlatul Wathon. Second, the source of orientation. The orientation is critical to see the relationship of transformation within the message. Who said what, to whom and by whom and the place it was said. In Sasak Lombok, rural communities that are still vertically oriented, the concept of who is saying what and by whom needs attention because specific figures still have authority and credibility in the community. The Tuan Guru figure in the Sasak community is centric and charismatic because all his because all his behaviors and messages are considered to be role models for the community. The statusTuan Guru can be used as an agent of social change. In addition to role models, it is also necessary to look for expert sources who will convey information about family education programs.Institutionally, the community expects direct involvement from the Office of the Ministry of Religion such as: KUA and PPN. (c) Objective Orientation. The main targetsof this orientation are teenagers who have turned to the age of marriage. The results found that around 38% of the perpetrators of Community: volume 6, nomor 1, April 2020 p-ISSN: 2477-5746 e-ISSN: 2502-0544 the divorce were those under the age of 18 years. (d) Preparation for Teaching Material. It is easier for the targets to understand the education and training programs that will be provided if the teaching material is well-prepared.

Establishing Family Education program
The results of the research found that there were three programs chosen by the community as a family education program that could prevent divorce in the Lombok Sasak community, namely:

Educational Program on Gender and Sexuality
This program is important to implement considering that there are still many divorces due to gender bias. Gender education is needed so that people can understand the differences between the two sexes derived from natural factors which are gifts from God, as well as factors that come from the community which are socio-cultural constructions. With this program it is likely to eliminate the wrong labeling of women as wives, which prevents gender equality (between husband and wife).
Identification on divorce cases found that around 20% of divorced couples never went to school, did not complete primary school by 18%, and completed primary school by only 24% of the 525 divorce subjects studied.
This research emphatically found that the occurrence of gender inequality has led to domestic violence that encourages divorce. Survey data shows that the cause of divorce is 98 cases or 18.5%, namely symbolic and physical violence.
The manifestation of symbolic violence can also be linked to defining the reality of life carried out by the dominant community group, which are men (Hendarti, 2000). Alternatively, called cultural violence, which is violence in which cultural aspects, namely the symbolic domain of existence such as religion and ideology, language and others, which can be used to justify or legitimize physical or symbolic violence (Galtung, 2002). Symbolic violence can also be said as violence that can hurt the victim morally and psychologically.
The violence that befalls women as wives can be in the form of physical or symbolic violence. For example, young women experienced to be forced marriage by her parents. It can also occur because a husband who likes to cheat or remarry and hurt his partner (wife). From some of these cases, it indicates that in the family living space, the dominant male group as a husband is the primary agent of this violence. Here the husband has authority, decision-makers and has an influence on his wife; this occurs because it is supported by social norms culture, religion, legal norms in the structure of patriarchal society. Community: volume 6, nomor 1, April 2020 p-ISSN: 2477-5746 e-ISSN: 2502-0544 It must be recognized that the cultural traditions of a society such as that of the Sasak tribe such as Midang 1 have given birth, violence and injustice in accommodating the interests of women (wives), and women as subordinates experience humiliation and helplessness (restriction). Forms of violence (symbolic and physical), become an effective means to dominate women's groups, even useful to strengthen the dominance of men. For groups that are dominated by (women), both because of their class position and because of women's gender issues, they seem powerless to deal with all this. This can occur because the dominance of the individual (women as wives) by the husband as a super-domination in a small group (family) will be much tighter and harder than the domination by the state (Johnson, 1998).

Educational Program on Family Law
This program is essential to carry out because the research data found that divorce patterns by the Sasak community were mostly made informally, namely at the parents' house or at home by 78%, witnessed by headman by 14% and the Religious Courts only by 2.8%. This data provides information that the level of public legal awareness is still low. Divorce is supposed to be done informal institutions such as KUA and the Religious Courts, as a medium for mediation to end marital ties. They know about who takes care of what, and what should be obtained if they have children or property to be distributed. However, in reality, they do not know and are blind to formal institutions that have the right to break their marital ties (divorced).

Educational Program on Pre-Marital Counseling
Pre-marital counseling programs can be an excellent alternative to strengthen the heart and mind in dealing with problems that exist in a household. By conducting counseling before marriage, many benefits can be obtained, including practicing openness between partners, aligning differences between partners, anticipating conflict. The purpose of pre-marital counseling also refers to the achievement of satisfaction 1 Midang (Sasak: Girlfriend visiting time), a man (a virgin or widower) comes to the house of a girl or widow he likes or loves. Midang Culture Institution is a unique institution in the Sasak Lombok community which is different from the way they visit other communities. The uniqueness is: (1) the time of the court has been determined, namely at night from 19:00 to 22:00. (2) Midang may be carried out by more than one man at the same time and space to a girl or widow. (3) The process of midang has awikawik (customary rules), for those who violate it will be sanctioned.(4) Because Midang allows more than one person to come, there is a queuing system. Whoever comes first will get the first chance and will be followed by the next one. According to the Sasak Midang tribe has the value of openness to be able to choose autonomously women or men who will be made life partners (husband and wife. To explore how Midang's culture can be traced from the book: Ahmad amin et al (1997) The customs of the West Nusa Tenggara Region. M. Ali. Dahlan (1997). Customs and Marriage Ceremony of the West Nusa Tengga Region. Jakarta : Depdikbud. Community: volume 6, nomor 1, April 2020 p-ISSN: 2477-5746 e-ISSN: 2502-0544 between partners; this has to do with the principles of life, views about marriage, division of duties, finances, habits, and family.
This study found several cases, namely 18% of those interviewed for divorce caused by a husband who ran away from responsibility. Many of their husbands go abroad to neighboring countries (Malaysia and Arabic). They leave their children without adequate living expenses. Many husbands also leave their wives because they marry other women in other places or regions. The family does not (The neglected husband's responsibility is neglected), and the occurrence of conflict in the family that causes divorce indicates that intimate relations have led to dangerous explosives because it produces feelings of hostility piling up or mounting. Every critical event will increase the intensity of hostility, and when the explosion -outbreaks occur, it might be severe and dangerous for a relationship (Johnson, 1988) (Poloma, 1987). When the husband no longer handles this problem as a joint responsibility or the husband's responsibility is neglected and can no longer fulfill essential moral obligations. Then the explosion and conflict will be widespread and hard, as a wife with instincts, hearts, and minds, then, of course, she will lose her temper. Divorce is an instrument that can be used and understood by them (women as wives) to determine the direction of their next life. Divorce does not only have a negative aspect. However, it has a positive side, meaning that with the failure of an unpleasant first marriage, it becomes a valuable lesson to move on to the next marriage life on another occasion (Kendall, 2001) (Goode, 1991).

Model of Program Implementation
The pattern of activities proposed by the community to realize family education programs which are intended to prevent and minimize divorce in the Lombok Sasak community is carried out with various patterns, namely: education and training patterns, workshops, and marital consultation program. Community: volume 6, nomor 1, April 2020 p-ISSN: 2477-5746 e-ISSN: 2502-0544

Conclusion
The model of family education programs that can prevent divorce in the Lombok Sasak community can be carried out in the following stages: (1) Program orientation. The activity covers preparing community institutions, the orientation of subjects, and orientation of objects and preparation of teaching materials. (2) Establishing a Family Education program includes the Gender and Sexuality Education Program, Family Law Education Program, and Pre-Martial Counseling Program. While the pattern of activities was made through education and training, workshops, and a marital consultation.
Noting the model of family education programs proposed by the community. The results of this research can be used as a guideline for related parties, especially for the Ministry of Religion of the Republic of Indonesia (Ministry of Religion and Religious Courts) to compile family education programs. It reflected that emphasize understanding of laws relating to family law and family-oriented education programs on parallels between men and women. Moreover, more importantly, it is the institutionalization of the marriage consultation clinic program to the provincial level.